Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
ok first of all what the fuck
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
