Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
