My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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