I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
