If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
