dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
