go do what you do best...puke behind churches
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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