He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
