Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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