i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
