I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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