I wish you could order shots online.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
