I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
