He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Come on in and take your pants off
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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