Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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