hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
