I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
