we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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