That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
