I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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