he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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