lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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