kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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