Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
