Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
