My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
