are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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