Small penises have feelings too.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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