I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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