i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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