so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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