What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think i got beer on your cat.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
