ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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