i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
