I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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