please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
