dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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