Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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