I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
