I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
