I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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