East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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