glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
