Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
