Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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