Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
