don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
