The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
