he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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