I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
