my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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