You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
